Resiliency – Episode Transcript

 

Announcer:       Welcome to the Qualitative Advisor podcast by Legacy, with your host, Chris Venn.

Chris:                Hi everybody. I’m Chris Venn. Welcome to the Qualitative Advisor podcast. It’s been a few weeks since we released our last podcast. There’s been a little gap here, and it’s because things have been busy, and by busy I mean really busy, like capital RB, really busy. And a good kind of busy, busy in life, busy in business. But if you’re like me, you probably have times where you are going 100 miles an hour and you need to hit the accelerator and go faster than that and you want to push harder than that. And the problem is there’s a price tag to it, and the price tag usually comes in terms of our health, our physical health, our mental health, our relationship health, our financial health, whatever. But it hits our health and we got an issue of resiliency I want to talk about, and that’s why today we’ve got a guest with us and his name is Dr. Ganz Ferrance, and Ganz and I have known each other for a long, long time. Ganz, welcome to the podcast. How you doing?

Dr. Ganz:          Good. Hey, thanks so much for having me, Chris. I appreciate being here.

Chris:                You bet. You and I have known each other for a long, long time. And the fact is I don’t kind of let you out of the bag very often to show you off, but I should probably show you off more often now that I think about it. But how long have we known each other, 15 years?

Dr. Ganz:          Easily, easily 15 years. Yeah. Honestly, it’s like you’re my soul brother, right? So it’s like we’re twins from different parents.

Chris:                Which is ironic when I have a twin. That makes us triplets, I suppose.

Dr. Ganz:          Well, that’s right.

Chris:                Very good. That’s right. Well, I’m glad you’re here. It’s Dr. Ganz has so much to bring to the space of resiliency, especially personal resiliency. And you’ve also zeroed in with some of the specific concerns that men have in this space, as well, because we have some great gaps when it comes to our deep desire to ask for help and things like that. You have a book out on the topic. You’ve got a website. You’ve got a podcast, or excuse me, a website, a blog out there on it. It’s like you have a lot on the go. And we’ll connect you more to Dr. Ganz’s materials on that just at the end, because listen to this man speak first and you’re going to want to go and check out as his content, his material, because it’s rich and it’s relevant.

Chris:                Well, let’s get ready to this, Ganz. Financial advisors, quantitative side of things, lots of math that’s there, but there’s the qualitative side of things where you’re doing a bit of a deeper dive in terms of someone else’s vision, their values, their goals and what’s driving them and what really matters to them. But the challenge is when you’re paying so much attention to so many other people’s needs, one is you can start to take on the pressure of their needs as your own. But the other is it can totally be depleting. Why is that? What’s happening here? What’s getting in people’s way and making this come true?

Dr. Ganz:          Well, if you think about the role of an advisor in particular, especially the level that you’re managing somebody’s money and if you’re managing people with a high net worth and that sort of thing, there’s a lot of pressure in terms of performance. You may have certain levels to hits and different things like that, but also your clients are expecting a certain amount from you. But then if you’re going deeper and you’re looking at what they actually want, what they need, and not just in terms of finances, but how those finances fit into the bigger picture of their lives, well, that takes a lot more focus and a lot more energy to be able to be present, solid enough so that they trust you and they feel comfortable enough to start giving you some of this personal information. And this is actually way more personal than just the numbers around the finances, right?

Chris:                That’s for sure.

Dr. Ganz:          These questions are things that they may not even have thought about for themselves. Right? So they’re going to-

Chris:                And you’re the one bringing the questions and drawing it out of them for the first time. It’s like, “Wow.”

Dr. Ganz:          Exactly. Do you know what I mean? So even even fun experiences with people we like, right, they take a lot of energy to manage and so now you’re throwing in the responsibility but also asking somebody to think about something in a very different way for the first time in their lives possibly. And so it can be quite energy intensive, right? And because you care about doing a good job, but also you care about your clients, a lot of times we get super narrowly focused on that and forget to care about ourselves and our families and like you mentioned earlier, the health of all the other parts of your life, right? And so this is why sometimes we get distracted. Sometimes, especially for us guys, that’s a little bit of hard wiring as well because we tend to be focused on fixing problems and not really seeing the big pictures, like typically women are better at.

Chris:                Well, it’s interesting. I was talking with an advisor maybe two weeks ago and he was talking about our process. We’re asking clients about their vision, we’ve got some questions that we take them through and so on, and the fly in the ointment for him is that the stress of silence. He asks the question and then the person’s not saying anything, so he thinks that they don’t know. Really, they’re processing, right? They’re just thinking about it. Good question. So he fills the silence, right? So he fills the silence, and so they have a great conversation but the client doesn’t get to where they want to get to. My point is even silence is stressful.

Dr. Ganz:          Well, I tell you, because I’ve been in sales. I used to sell vacuum cleaners door to door. And I just said-

Chris:                One of the things I love about you, man.

Dr. Ganz:          And you’re taught in the sales process a lot of times that the silence is somehow bad, right? But when you’re doing things in the way that you guys are helping your advisors do, the silence is golden. It really is important because you’re right, this is them taking it seriously. This is them processing the questions that you’re asking them or that your advisors are asking them and taking it seriously, right?

Dr. Ganz:          So my advice to the advisor is that in those moments, you can actually use those gaps to help ground yourself. One of the things I do, because this is one of the things, after being a therapist, a licensed psychologist for like 25 years, this is one of those things that I was taught really early on. My job, and I would say the advisor’s job in many cases is to manage my own anxiety in the process, right? Because here’s how we work as humans. When I can feel calm, when I can feel comfortable, what I know I’m good, it really literally sends some energy to the other person and-

Chris:                There’s a broadcast to it, isn’t there?

Dr. Ganz:          Absolutely. Absolutely. And they feel more at ease and you can see this, okay, because we’ve all had a similar experience. Sometimes if there’s a new mom or a new dad and the baby’s colicky, they’re having a hard time, and they’re trying to settle everybody down, grandma or uncle or somebody will come in the room, they got this just kind of chill energy, right? They’ve been through it before. They’ve been through the battle. They come, “Hey, do you mind if I hold the baby?” The baby goes to sleep. You know what I mean? So there’s something hardwired in us as humans to pick up on this energy and that’s a real thing.

Dr. Ganz:          So when the advisor can use that time, that space just to rest … One trick or strategy, I guess, that I use is, I could feel my butt in the chair. I can just notice how my breath moves. It’s okay. This is an opportunity for me just to kind of again get settled. It helps the other person, the client to feel calmer and actually be able to give you the answer you’re looking for, which is coming from a much deeper place.

Chris:                So all we have to do is just be completely present, cut out our thoughts and our feelings and anything else and we’re golden.

Dr. Ganz:          Yeah.

Chris:                Listen, actually, so I’m being tongue in cheek obviously, but there’s a truth to it, right? It’s like, if we could simply be present, that that’s part of the game. It’s an essential part of the game. And there is no exaggeration or hyperbole here when I say that there are three books that I review regularly. One is Critical Path by a Buckminster Fuller. The second is As a Man Thinketh by James Allen, and the third is The Me Factor by you.

Chris:                I’ve talked about this. You’ve taken 25 years plus of study and experience and exposure and you’ve pulled it down into, “Here are ways that you can think about this. Here are strategies that you can put in place. Here are ways that you can shift so that you can be more present.” I tell you, off air before recording, I was joking with Ganz about, it’s like, “Well, so does this thing work? Is this working for me?” Because it’s one of the fundamental golden questions, and that does not give away the book by the way. That was not a spoiler, but it’s gold that’s in there is not just asking that question, but having the willingness to ask and answer that question for ourselves, actually, “Is this actually working?” And it’s a courageous question.

Dr. Ganz:          It’s not for the weak of heart at all. Not at all.

Chris:                No, but neither is this industry. Neither is this business. So it’s the right people are getting this message. So here’s what I wanted to ask you, Ganz, is that if there was a perspective or two out of The Me Factor that you could ensure got into everyone who’s listening into their brains right now, what’s the one or two key things that is going to help them be more resilient, more powerful in their day to day?

Dr. Ganz:          Well, the one you just mentioned, “Is this working for me?” You’re absolutely right. That’s the foundational question. “Is this working for me? Is this way of thinking working for me? Is this belief system working for me? Is this habit working for me?” Because what you’re doing by doing that, you’re actually making your life conscious, okay? The majority of things we do as humans, especially guys, are automatic. We do them because we have always done them and sometimes they’re set up because of whatever, parents, church, school, friends, whatever it is, and they may have worked for some time, but they may no longer work or they may not work in this particular context, right? So by asking this question, getting used to asking that question, you are then waking up in all aspects of your life and seeing if you’re actually putting your energy towards something that is going to be meaningful to you. So it’s a question of, “Am I being as highly leveraged as I can, not just in my business, but generally in my life,” right? [crosstalk 00:11:18]

Chris:                Here’s what really struck me about that is when you first shared that with me and we’re talking about it, is the whole notion of recognizing how much I actually believe my beliefs.

Dr. Ganz:          Oh yeah.

Chris:                Because they’re thoughts, right? It’s like it’s a repetitive and emotional thought. That’s a belief. But it’s like, “Wow, I’m really bound to this synapse that keeps firing.” But I got 60000 of them that happen a day. It’s like, why this one? And, and just recognizing that I actually have the freedom to suspend that belief for a second and at least explore a different one if not choose a different one.

Dr. Ganz:          Absolutely. So in our industry, we call that metacognition, right? Thinking about your thinking. And that’s something that we think is uniquely human. But a lot of us don’t do it. We don’t-

Chris:                So if we talk about the podcast, we’re meta-podcasting?

Dr. Ganz:          That’s right.

Chris:                Okay. Got it. Got it. Okay, good.

 

Dr. Ganz:          So yeah, so metacognition means we can actually think about what we’re doing and by asking this orienting question, “Is this working for me?” What you’re doing is like … The fast way to explain this, you’re fast tracking your midlife crisis and doing it consciously Yeah,

Chris:                I thought we weren’t going to talk about that on the podcast, man. Okay. So that’s the one. What’s the other thing?

Dr. Ganz:          So the second thing is you are the engine that drives it all, okay? This is the thing that we forget. We think about this when we look at our cars or vehicles or whatever. We wouldn’t think of denying the vehicle gas or maintenance until it’s finished the task, right? We understand that we have to put the work in on the front end to make sure that it’s in good working order to be able to finish the task. When it comes to us though, we do the opposite. We’ll rest when we’re done. We’ll celebrate when we’re finished. We’ll take a vacation when we’ve made $10 million or whatever, and we don’t really understand that, no, we’re the capacity.

Dr. Ganz:          I talk in my book about the goose laid the golden egg and how stupid the farmer was that killed the goose because we want to get all the golden eggs all at once. No, you want to keep the the goose alive. You want to feed the goose, you want to do all these other things so the goose continues to make the golden eggs, right? Well, the problem is, we are the goose, but we also forget, we’re also the farmer. So we need to make sure that we’re in good working order to be able to execute the things we need to do to create the stuff that we want in our lives. So that’s the second one. And I’ll give you a bonus one. The other one is-

Chris:                Nice.

Dr. Ganz:          You talked about synapses, right? So we have this thought, we have this thing that’s been running in our minds for 10, 14, 30, 40 years, whatever it is, right? We get this insight, metacognition, we think about it, but then comes the hard work. You’ve got to put in the work to make the change because the only thing that changes a habit is a better habit. And you cannot do that suddenly. We can have the insights suddenly, but we can’t grind it in to make it natural suddenly. Right? And that’s why the work that you do is so important because it helps the clients or your clients or your advisors think about their life in a different way, but then actually do the steps to make that change on a consistent basis. And same thing with you can’t do it by yourself. Put in the time, get some help to make sure you can actually put the work in to change the habit to some that works better for you.

Chris:                Nice. Fantastic. We have amazing clients and we also get to witness how much they give along the way and when the price tag that some of the advisors who work with those pay. Sometimes they’re burnt and they’re exhausted. Sometimes they’re just cruising along and not feeling fulfilled because they know that there’s a step up, but what’s going to be the effort to get there and so on. And I think part of what’s become clear, just through our conversations, whether it’s hanging out over Skype or over a beer is the fact that we do have more that we can bring as long as we bring it in a way that’s smart, that’s intelligent, that leaves us resourceful and resilient along the way. It’s like there’s a whole new reordering that’s possible. So there’s more that’s possible.

Chris:                So if you’re an advisor right now and you are feeling tired or burnt or a little overwhelmed or a little frustrated or flat or underwhelmed, it means that you’re slightly off track somehow. And either in terms of the vector that you’re on or the way that you’re engaging along that path or you’ve stopped moving and you’re not built for that either. You don’t have roots, you have legs. So we want to encourage you to think about the things that you can do that ensure that you are as resilient and resourceful as possible because you’re busy bringing that confidence to other people every day.

Chris:                So Ganz, you have a website, you have a book, you have stuff that’s out there. We won’t say which client, but there’s a very large client of ours that is holding quite a large event and they’re having you really set the tone for that event coming up soon. What’s the best way for people to connect with you and find out more about your work?

Dr. Ganz:          The best way is my website, so it’s AskDrGanz.com. That’s ask, D-R-G-A-N-zed, or Z, I guess for the Americans, dot com. Yeah. And it’s interesting because you talk about the book and the whole Me Factor system, and really Chris, you know I’ve talked about this lots. I put that together for me, right? Because I burned myself out and all the stuff you listed in terms of people’s feelings, I felt that something was wrong with me. You know what I mean? That, “Oh man, I’m broken. I can’t do this anymore. Maybe this is not the right thing I’m doing. What’s wrong?”

Dr. Ganz:          And really what I’ve come to understand that no, it’s not the, something’s wrong with me. This is just feedback. This is just information that tells me I’m off course and something needs to be tweaked. I think you said it beautifully and I really encourage everybody listening to understand that, that you’re not broken. That’s just something that you need to look at so that you don’t continue to go off the rails and feel like you’re having a hard time, right? And it can be fixed. And [crosstalk 00:18:03].

Chris:                And you talk about that. Yeah. You talked about that in the book. You talked about some of your backstory.

Dr. Ganz:          Oh yeah.

Chris:                I tell you, when you explain it, it’s like, “Oh yeah, Yep. Got that one, got that one, got that.” It’s almost like an inventory of heroic actions we’ve tried to take away that don’t work, at least not in the long-term.

Dr. Ganz:          Yeah. This is what we do as dudes, right? I mean, we want to support the people we love and still slay the dragon, right? And you do. But sometimes if more dragons keep coming, you get tired after a while. So yeah, that’s why I put it together.

Chris:                Outstanding. All right, well, so Ganz, any closing words of advice? If you could give a single sound byte to an advisor, it’s like, “Remember this,” or, “Hang on to this,” what is it for them, Ganz? What’s the thing that if that stayed in their head they’re going to be better for it?

Dr. Ganz:          I would say the better you feel, the better you do.

Chris:                Nice. Okay, good. Well, I know that I’m definitely going to have that echoing in my head for a little bit here, so thank you for that. And thank you everyone for joining us for a few minutes on the Qualitative Advisor podcast. I’m Chris Venn with our guest, Dr. Ganz Ferrance, and hope you’ve enjoyed it. Feel free to leave comments at the bottom, and if you want to find out more about Ganz or our work, just feel free to use the comment section or the email section and we’ll be happy to reach out to you.

Announcer:       You’ve been listening to the Qualitative Advisor podcast by Legacy with your host, Chris Venn. Want more? Our members have expanded access at member.think-legacy.com, or you can visit us at advisorpodcast.com. Be sure to subscribe to get access to past episodes and other features.